How can I truly say I ever just wanted to be with my wife. All the things I said and did, acted counter to that in more ways than I could even imagine. I'm scared to be alone, but I acted that way the last few years, not wanting to be with her either. I have so many things that I need to work through, I cannot be a good husband until that happens. And who knows when that will be. My whole life, I have tried to keep up with everybody, tried to feel good because I had this or that, and in the end, none of it matters. The only thing that matters, is being happy within yourself. Knowing you make the right choices, and the right decisions based on you, not somebody else. But I have no idea how to do that or where to go.
