Don't have much time right now, just wanted to put some quick thoughts down.
We went to dinner last night for H's bday (whole family) Sometimes I'm just not sure I even want to save this M, mostly because I just don't think he will ever look at himself and his role and change his behaviors toward me and I definitely want more. I know I'm no where near that point yet so I shouldn't worry about it. Also, I can forgive the affair because I know it was a symptom of or R, but it is becoming more and more difficult to forgive the way he is treating me now. I know I am going to have to reach deep inside myself to give that forgiveness and I'm struggling with that right now.
Also, I don't think I used the opportunity I had very well. Not that I did anything bad, I just think I could've used the time better. I guess I was a little annoyed with him, sometimes I don't like him very much. I can't quite explain it, just annoying. Which honestly probably wouldn't have bothered me before all this BS....sigh
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
