Tooting Marvellous!

[edz]

Hi Toots

My apologies for not checking in on your sitch over the weekend, it was manic busy as you know. I agree with others postings on here, it seems H is keeping you in his mind, as we've all said the opposite of love is indifference and it doesnt seem to be the case here.

I think there is a point to be had over any of our WAS's who we want back having "control" but then that's to be expected if we want them back and they haven't committed to that yet. You know in my case w admitted that she never wanted to see me again in July, now less so (although it can always turn either way). I wrestled with whether to give up and decided to stand but detach as you have, thats not giving w control or you giving your h control just that one of you has put their cards on the table that you want to save the marriage and the other is debating whether to join in.

When w and I had a chat the other week I validated but made it clear I didnt want a divorce, I will work with w if she chooses to move ahead with me but I dont want either of us or s to be unhappy, either of us can walk away but both of us would need to decide to work on the marriage if it is to work. So know that while H can decide not to come back, equally you can decide you stood long enough as can any of us. Dbing helps us be rounded people to make that call or to stand rather than running purely on emotions or if we had any within the marriage continuing the same behaviours into the future.

In short Toots, keep going you're doing well. You've had some contact and I too am in that 9 monthers club (we really should have t-shirts).

(((((Toots)))))

Edz