Winhamn intro - D in process, WAW

[pilot]

While there is not much to go on regarding your story (your posting is only on its 2nd page) it is very hard to say anything with any certainty regarding your W and her intentions. That being said...

Your W up and announced she was done with you and was filing a D that week. Through email no less. What that tells me is she either is afraid to tell you in person because of how you will react or how she will react. Im going to assume you are not a violent person so lets just for the sake of discussion go with how she will react. It may very well be she does not want to see you hurt. And her softening up to you may be her way of trying to be nice about it, or worse, making her feel better about it. Bottom line is she has not backed off her decision, and likely will not any time soon. I did not see any mention of an A or OM in this picture, but experience here tells you (me included) just because you dont suspect it does not mean it is not there.

If your W is anything like the other WAS on this forum, and odds are she is, then she does not want your help, she does not want your affection, she basically does not want anything to do with you. And I know that can be a tough pill to swallow, especially as a guy because we are hard wired to fix things that are broken, and your M is broken. It is hard to sit back and do what feels so unnatural which is to back off, but believe me and every other person who has stood where you are now, backing off is by far the best course of action you can take. Do not mistake her kindness for reconciliation. She may even want to have sex at some point too. You are going to have to learn to just back off, and say no thank you to her. She will want to cake eat. Meaning she will want to know you are still there as a plan B in case her plan A does not work out how she had thought. She will feed you just enough bread crumbs to survive, but never thrive.

Best advice you can follow in the early stages when you are conflicted about what to do, take a moment and come to the board and post an urgent plea for guidance. Post the situation and what you are thinking about doing. You will find many who have already walked in your shoes quick to offer good and non emotionally driven advice. Then listen to them. People are here to help you and if you let them you will find yourself in a better place. And it will feel wrong at your core at times, but trust me, in a few months you will look back and think 'why did I not think of that myself'.

Good luck to you