I now know that my STBXW has lost all thought about anything but herself. She is a scheming horrible person who will lie to me without a 2nd thought. I've been working so hard trying to help both of us get out of the IRS sitch in the best shape possible. I even made sure that I told them that I was responsible for doing the taxes (I was responsible for EVERYTHING) so I would be more "at fault" because it was the honest thing. Last week she was supposed to come over and do the taxes. I had everything ready but she called and cancelled at the last min. Now, she was supposed to come to my (our old) home yesterday and do the taxes as we are running out of time. She didn't show in the AM and texted that she wanted to meet and do the taxes at a restaurant! I told her my laptop doesn't hold a charge and I need to plug it in. She refused to come over. She was supposed to have bought Turbo Tax and she hadn't.
I told her to just come over. If that wasn't good, I would go to her. She didn't want to do that either. I told her I'd meet her, get her info and do the hard work and then meet her today and go over everything before I filed them. She got angry and said why don't I give her MY info and she can do it and then go over it....like she didn't want to give me any info! I said she never did it before and my stuff was more complicated. She insisted that was the way as she refused to do it any other. So, I relented thinking I would fix the mistakes she would surly make because she is awful at this stuff.
Today I get a call that she is at HR Block getting the taxes done! Without me there! She couldn't do it alone but refused to let me. She refused to come to me for God knows what reason, afraid to visit her old home? She texted me from the office 10 times needing info and when I asked her why she didn't tell me so I could be there, she said it was "last min" and just did it. Now she is ignoring me when I told her she has to sign a paper so I can get a hearing with the IRS. She is a horrible person, intent on messing up what could be an easy hearing where we end up having very little to pay back because she wants to be an ass. She even called from HR B and asked for D15's SS#. I gave it to her and asked if she needed D19's. She says no because she doesn't live with either of us anymore. WRONG, she didn't leave until late in the year and was in HS most of 2014! She almost screwed us out of a major deduction because she doesn't know what she is doing! I swear, if she screws up the IRS thing where I've been told that if we do things right we could come out not owing much, I swear I am done ever caring about her in any way. I'm done with compassion.
This is what I think happened, she talked to her father and friends and they all said how I was going to screw her over. That she shouldn't trust me. That I will make her pay to get back at her and she believes it. She, of course see's everyone as like her......selfish and out for them self. She can feel any way she wants, she can do anything she wants with her own life, I really don't care. This IRS thing is the last tie (other than the kids) to our old lives. I really need her to cooperate one last time. It's in her best interest as well as mine. I don't care what she thinks of me, what she does or doesn't do (as long as it doesn't hurt my kids). This is such a stressful thing to go through, her making it worse is just another way she has screwed me over.
I want my life back and to do that I need her cooperation one last time. Once the IRS thing is over with, no matter the outcome, I am totally done with her except when it comes to our D's. I not only know that she will NEVER be a "happy" person, that destroying our M and Family will do nothing positive for her. I know that she is going to end up either alone or with someone that is so damaged that they will put up with her narcissism and need to blame others for her own inability to cope. She really never appreciated all I did for her. What I did for our family. Looking back, I deserved better. My kids deserved better. After her grandfather died and her father said he wanted to make up for all the bad he did, that was all that mattered to her. It was more important than her M, her family, her kids. It was the beginning of her MLC and the end of my M in slow motion. It was the cause of her first depression and her fathers cancer was the start of her MLC. She trusts people who have hurt her or that hardly know her and mistrusts those who have loved her and always been there for her like me and her mother. Even her D self-harming isn't enough to make her stop and look at what she is doing.
I don't need any more stress in my life. I now understand that until my W is totally out of my life she will always find ways to make my life more stressful. I see no way that someone as damaged as she now is can ever be anything but a minus in anyone's life, especially mine as she has decided that not those that have truly hurt her all her life are to blame for her unhappiness but that me, the person who loved her, took care of her when she needed me to, who tried to be the best H and father I could, is the cause. I actually pity any person who ends up in a R with her. I need to do all I can to help my D's cope with the crap she keeps dumping on them. Until now I didn't see her as the "enemy" but as someone who is in crisis and just trying to find her way. Now I think I need to just expect her to do anything she can to hurt me. That is just so sad but it is the only way I'm going to be able to escape from her trail of destruction.
OK, vent is over. I now need to find a way to work around the fact that my W will not cooperate on the IRS problem. This is number one job for me!
