Thank you Job and AJ. I needed the reassurance so that I do not make my issue with d17 bigger than it should be.
S13? He gets better as the weekend goes along, and we are together the whole time. So this tells me he is not around anyone else during the week (W is not spending much time around the kids), he is playing games on his ipad (obsessively?) and he is shutting out the rest of the world. His grades have plummeted (incl. 2 F's) this past quarter, when he was doing so well at the beginning of the year.
An interesting text from W today. She mentioned "she is counting the days" in reference to d17 going off to college in the fall. I think it also means she is really ready to give me s13 as the primary caretaker. I have been looking at places to live in his current school district.
