Hi OTU - no offence taken at all my friend, and you are always welcome to ask tricky questions. I'm glad if I have helped you in any way with my posts. It is one of the upsides of these sitches that we can offer and receive help.

I get you on the cynical feelings. I live opposite the Registrars office, and when the newlyweds come out for their photos, the 'failure' stats pop into my head. I'm not sure if it is cynicism as such, but certainly a loss of innocence for me about love and marriage. That will never be quite the same again, and I mourn the loss of that.

I certainly don't feel either of us should feel hopeless about our M's - you and I are both 9 monthers, and I remember reading on these boards that it is so rare for sitches to resolve in under 9 months. I guess time will tell for both of us. In a way, I think it is best not to feel hopeful or hopeless and just focus on our own lives. I think I'm willing to carry on with the uncertainty in respect of my M because I have become more detached, and I'm enjoying new things I have been doing. It's less central to me than it was.

I've been Mum-sitting today & we had some good laughs together. She's always up to some kind of mischief or another. Then GAL aqua aerobics tonight and just sat down with a glass of wine. Hope all you lovely DBers are having a nice evening...

Thanks RD and V for your perspectives too...xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus