Put one foot in front of the other...

[Zephyr]

It is funny you say that. Since i found how unhappy my wife has been in our maeeiage I have spent a lot of time really watching the dynamics of other couples. With coaching the kids I have a ton of interaction with the kid's moms, many have gotten divorced over the years. I can distinctly remember complaints they had about their husbands before divorce, after divorce...some of those same complaints are precisely what they found they missed the most. Odd right. I've taken from that maybe, just maybe those women don't know what they really wanted. The men never say anything so I don't have a good insight on that front besides what I read here and there are not many WAH here.

I know not exactly what you were talking about...but that popped into my head and wanted to share. There will be tons of thoughts like this, they are not a bad thing...part of coping. Keep it going.

[Cadet]

maybe those women don't know what they really wanted.
The men never say anything so I don't have a good insight on that front besides what I read here and there are not many WAH here.

Zephyr do you know what YOU want?
I would say men are exactly the same as women here.
Unsure of what they really want!

[Elly4]

So we're off to a family event. I feel like I'm lying. H is happy and relaxed.

[Cadet]

So we're off to a family event. I feel like I'm lying. H is happy and relaxed.

Well try to have a good time.

[Elly4]

Well, it went very well. Everyone seemed to have a good time and no awkward moments. I shut up when I needed to and listened to what my H was saying. I'm so happy it went well.

[Elly4]

Thanks, Zephyr, I'm sure there will be many times that it does happen!

The concert today was great with us all. It was to raise autism awareness. I love teaching autistic kids, so that made it extra special for me. H stayed happy until we were home for about an hour. I just kept to my PMA and stayed light and happy with him.

Can't wait for my GALs tomorrow! Going to church, then dog agility practice, and then taking my S out for lunch.

[Elly4]

And now for the first time in two months he wanted to talk R. He was just sitting there on the other couch, brooding. I've learned since this all started that when he does this he wants to talk, but doesn't want to start it. So I asked, "do you want to talk?" He laughed and said yes but he doesn't have anything new to say. He's still unhappy and he still wants to leave. But he doesn't want to hurt me or our S. He also said that he didn't know what after would look like.

I asked him what would you want it to look like? He said he didn't know. He just knows that when he dies he doesn't want to look back on his life and see him only giving.

I said I could understand that. He asked me what I think of us. I said that I didn't want a divorce, but I understand that he's trying to find what makes him happy. He told me that he thinks I'm handling this amazingly. I got a little teary eyed but did not break down. I apologized for the tears and he said that I didn't need to because he's hurting me and its natural I would cry.

We talked some more and then he said we should go to bed and we did...in separate rooms.

I hate this.

[Zephyr]

maybe those women don't know what they really wanted.
The men never say anything so I don't have a good insight on that front besides what I read here and there are not many WAH here.

Zephyr do you know what YOU want?
I would say men are exactly the same as women here.
Unsure of wlhat they really want!

I had typed out a 10page response and deleated it because it was filled with bullspit. Real & most honest answer is that I just don't know. Sigh.
Sorry to hijack the thread.

[Zephyr]

Eirinn, sounds like you Had a difficult encounter and you handled yourself with poise.

[Elly4]

Thank you Zephyr. I wish I wouldn't tear up when he does this but I can't seem to stop. At least I don't full out cry and otherwise I can remain rational, and validate the heck out of him.

He told me that his mother is going to hate him, and I told him that I could understand how he would think that, but I feel his mother would still love him even if she's upset. Then he said that she would always want to be involved with my S and I and if I wanted him to, he would tell his mother about what was going on. I told him that he needed to make his own choices, that it wasn't about me but what makes him feel right. I still feel like he wants me to kick him out.