Coming Home

[mleigh4]

Happy Sunday.

Facing the end of a very relaxing week off of work! S and I are going to be in shock tomorrow when we have to get up early! We have been up until 11 pm and sleeping until 9. Much needed sleep!

I dropped off S with H on Thursday night. I had his mail, which was kind of strange because they all had "not here" written on them. I asked H, did you put in a change of address or something? He said no, so not sure why the mailman would write that then still deliver them, or how they would know!! I wondered how it made H feel, to see that and his home address slashed out like that..... If he felt anything.

Went to dinner with my girlfriend, while her husband was going to visit with my H. He is starting to reconnect with old friends. Anyway, friends H met up with us after. He didn't say much, and I didn't ask, just mentioned that the place is a dump. During dinner, A guy came up to me and asked if I was there alone. I said yes. He said his friend wanted me to know that he thought I was really cute. Lol, is this high school or what? They were a younger group of guys, maybe late 20's or 30's. I always get mistaken for being a lot younger than I am. But I didn't know what to say, so I said, tell your friend I said thank you and that he made my night, but I am here with my friends tonight

Later that night, we had a little conversation about me and I was assuring my girlfriend that I am in a really good place. That this is all good for H and I. My friends H, who has also been my friend for 25 years and is H's friend, said that he doesn't think H is capable of being emotionally connected with anyone. He went on to say all of this has nothing to do with me, that H has issues and that I should just keep moving forward and living life. I told him I agree with all of that and that is exactly what I am doing! I found it interesting that he could see that, not many people can outside of here!.

On Friday, I took kitty in to be spayed. My best friend works at the vet and kept me posted with each step. Kitty is doing great, healing right up!

That day, I got a letter from S's school. He scored 94% on the GATE testing, which is Gifted and Talented Education. I took a pic of the letter and sent it to H. He called, just beside himself. He told S how proud he is and said we need to go celebrate. S said he would like to go get frozen yogurt the next time he stayed with him, H said no, he meant for all 3 of us to do something. So H asked if he wanted to go that night, but S said we were staying with kitty because she had just come home from her surgery. So H said ok, how about this weekend? Then H asked to talk with me. He went on about how excited he was about the testing and said he wants us all to go together to celebrate, asked our plans for the weekend. I told him I didn't plan anything because of kitty, so H said maybe we can all do dinner or a movie or something. He said to let him know, I said ok.

Yesterday, I was busy doing stuff in the backyard, I came across a bunch of my old yard decorating stuff. Lots of moons, stars, fairies.... They were all in the shed. So I cleaned them all out and put them out. Looks so pretty, very Renaissance Fair like! Lol. Anyway, H TM's asking if we want to go to one of S's favorite spots, Five Guys, then to Froyo. S said yes! So we picked up H and went. Then S and I came home and watched a movie. H had said he was going to return his dad's trailer to his house that night.

One pattern I am seeing, on his S free weekend nights, he wants to spend them with us. Seems like that for the past month now. Where did all these amazing new friends go?

I still come across things that I didn't realize were gone. In cleaning the BBQ yesterday, I noticed a sign that was over the BBQ was gone. It had said H's BBQ. The nails are still there! I will be taking those out today. I always feel a flash of..... Anger and sadness, a little startled, when I come across that. But it passes quickly.