Quick recap, I was hit in jan with he wants a d. Had come out of nowhere. We have a hound baby. H denies affair. Then it turns to "just a friend". Then ea. Now he has confirmed pa, but also claims he has had a reality shock and ended it. I'm unsure what to believe.
Thank you all so so so much for the support. You have no idea how great it feels to have you lot to support me. No one knows what's going on and it makes me feel I have no one.
@zephyr thank you for the kind words. I certainly need the prayers.
@heart, funnily enough I read all of your sitch the other day and was thinking how similar they are. He has said he doesn't think I will ever be able to trust or forgive him. I guess it's hard to see past all this these days. The thought has kept me awake most of the night. Thinking of his hands on another woman knocks me sick. I know who and where she lives, I'm fighting hard not to go see her. I don't know wether he fully has no contact with her. I'm wondering wether to set boundaries of he cuts off all contact or I walk.
@toots, as hard as this was. I didn't cry, scream, get angry. I tried my very very best to remain calm and emotionless. I did validate that as much as it hurts I do appreciate the honesty. She isn't married, she's 3 times divorced! He said she lashed out at him- telling him he was trash. I did say she was the one sleeping with a married man so had no right to say anything.. He does seem very remorseful, he apologised. And appears further in a depression than ever. I don't think he is over this ow by any means, he said he started thinking about his "options" after an incident with yet another woman trying it on with him. He said he is aware he has been doing worse but that gave him a massive reality shock. I think to start I did say maybe we can work through this.. But after a night of no sleep and thinking, I'm hurt beyond belief and I do need to protect me and my child. This decision can't be made lightly.
In a way, I'd already arrived at the conclusion that he was sleeping with her. And me. I asked wether he had used protection. Do you think I should still get an sti check? I can't believe he would even endanger my health. I'm still on the edge of caution with regards to him cutting all ties with her. I would like to believe him- but obviously my trust has gone. If he indeed has, then the upside is that yesterday he left the house saying he needs to either end things with me or ow. Which is when I firmly laid my boundaries.
I'm not sure how I go about things. I know the key to changing things would be communication. I said to him, I understand that she has been the person to tell him all the nice things I would have been thinking but not said. And that she gave him the time I didn't. He agreed that she made him feel good and valued. But obviously to spend time with him now would be being fake? Do I still stay detached? Take baby out alone? He said that he thought that the initial spark we had when we got together, I said it just fizzled out as we got comfortable, had a child. And that it is up to us- as a couple to keep that alive.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
