Confused and mix messages. Part 3

[Heart14]

That's such hard news to hear. It's going to hurt for awhile. Its a little eerie how much your sitch resembles mine. I agree with Zues, nothing has to be decided today, tomorrow, or even next week. Take it slow and determine what you want and need. If you decide you want to work on the M (and H commits to that as well), you need to lay out what you require from him to heal. Some examples would be a no contact letter to OW that you approve, password to his phone, volunteering where he's at and when he'll be home. It's up to you to decide what you need. It's really hard to renegotiate those requirements later, so it's crucial to figure this out early.

He hasn't said he wants to commit. He talked in a few "we's" but then said he feels he has hurt me too bad he feels uncomfortable. And would understand if I want to end it.
It feels worse as I've gone to bed.. I can't get the images out of my mind

This isn't all bad. Sounds like he might not think you can forgive him. My H said something very similar. Eventually he's got to be willing to say "Cherry, I'll do anything you need." That might not happen right away. He'll probably have withdrawal symptoms from the A for a bit. That's hard. In a way, right or wrong, you will both be grieving for awhile.

Chin up. It might feel like the end of the world. I assure you it's not. Time will make it easier and your course of action clearer. You are strong and you will survive. ((((Cherry))))