So the WAS of yours checked the waters and made sure you still love her and wants her back.
She said many things about the R, but did not commit to anything. She left you because many of your issues, but in her selfishness she is not seeing that she was not doing things for herself either, and that her happiness always need to come from you.
The question is why is she doing this? Sometimes it sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do. She sounds like a baby doll looking for the soup opera romance.
The way I see it. You don't want to lose her and her love for you, so in some ways you can't see how are your reactions viewed by her point of view. You may think you are not showing to be needy, but that is what she can probably see. You may not be aggressive anymore, but maybe she sees some passive aggression.
So, lets start from the beginning, who are you talking to to get some help? Are you seeing an IC to get your emotions in place?
What does T wants from the R? The journal is not a bad thing in my opinion. But it is best used when the R is a happy place. Your R is on the rocks, so what good it will do if there is some word that will be misunderstood?
I wish it was easier, but she has the ball on her court and she can manipulate the situation as she wants right now. The fear of losing her is pushing her away.
Is she calling you everyday yet? If so, what is your timeline to be friendly and then give her some cold so she will miss you.
First rule of fight club...do no think, mention, image, or any of all those toughs of ghosts that you create in your mind about OM. First, if she was really trying something new, then she would not be in contact with you everyday.
She may have an informal R with him. Maybe it happen because you were away, she was lonely and bang, happen. Got her confused, and mainly ashamed of her actions, then she split and now she is trying to figure it out what happen and what is happening.
So, it could be this or that, but a the end it's not up to you to guess what is going on in her mind. It's up to you to work on yourself. It's up to you to give yourself some space and discover who you really are, what you really want, who you want to be in six months, a year, 5 years.
What you think it would happen if you do not answer her call or text for two or three days? If you are not so available for her? Do you feel that she misses you?
Do you have facebook? Does she has facebook? You could post some cool pictures having fun. You don't need to go overboard, it could be with your dogs during a walk... but something to show you are moving forward with your life.
You are not sure about her R with this OM, are there any friend that you could talk that knows her and may know if she goes out with this guy, or if she stays in his place?
Ranger... what are the weapons you are using in this war?
T, when I read your posts it seems you are all over the place and no direction. T needs a plan, a logistic plan. Try to think about who is your W, what attracted her to you in the first place. Share your plans of action with us and we will try to storm it with you.
Like me, you need to do a lot of homework to get the lesson understood, but with the help of many experts in these boards we will get there. By the way, are you blond, dark hair... color of your eyes? I picture you very gorgeous, young and a big nice smile.
