It's like he is trying to use his discomfort to manipulate you into forgiving him easily. Like he's hoping you are desperate enough for the M that you'll just overlook what happened and be all "no H, don't feel bad, we can work through this, don't feel that way..."
I'm not saying you shouldn't want the M. Whether you FEEL like it or not will come and go, but these are lifelong decisions not just for you but for your child and shouldn't be made quickly or on feelings. That said, it takes two. If he's not ready to man up and take this on the chin there's nothing to forgive. DON'T SAY THIS, but I'd FEEL like saying "I can get past the adultery and breaking of vows...I can't get past the fact that you can't own that and put my feelings as the priority in light of what you've done".
It doesn't help to breed resentment, but let's face it, you're going to feel this way. I'm just trying to empathize so you know you're not crazy for thinking these things.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
