Confused and mix messages. Part 3

[Cherry]

So he comes home. We talk for ages. Sit in silence at times. He claims he has ended it for good with her. But said that he has respect for me (hmmmmm) I needs to tell me something.. He tells me this a that he has pretty much denied as to being anymore than a friendship got physical. And they slept together more than once. Obviously I am heart broken.. I didn't flip out, I kept calm. Obviously I said the usual I think anyone would, disgusting etc, why didn't you think of your family, I hope you feel disgusted with yourself.
He says he doesn't think he deserves either of us. So won't blame me if I leave him (I think that's making him an easy route out). I love him I do, but I don't know if I should get the remainder of my dignity and go.
My mind had already gone there, but to have that man who made those vows to me admit it.. Well that hurts all the more. I don't know wether to trust he has left her for good. I want to see her number deleted.
I don't know how I deal with this. Guess I should re read infidelity chapter of DR.
I feel sick