MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART V

[ItHurts]

Yes I agree with Pilot. As I said, I thank the strict NC for getting me whereI am now. A year ago I couldn't imagine my life without her. now it's all I know and you know what? It's not miserable. now as far as hoping for reconciliation of course I still think about it. however the no contacthas empowered me. what I mean is I control communications not WAW. what happens is your thought process tends to shift from "I want my ex back so bad" to "I want my ex to want me back otherwise no deal." in other words instead ofme wasting time hoping for reconciliation I simply go on with my life and hope that the day comes where she initiates. if she doesn't then things stay status quo which as I said isn't torturous as time goes on.

Because you feel empowered you also feel like you'll take whatever life brings. it's like a form of pride in a way, you say to yourself that you don't want someone back unless they want to be back. If they don't it's their loss.
so in answer to your question, yes you still think about reconciliation and maybe even hope for it but you don't let it control your life. you'll get to a point where you tell yourself it's either going to happen or its not.

18 years with my ex and I feel this way now less than a year later so that will happen for everyone eventually. it's hard to believe that the first few months, very very hard to believe it in fact, but trust me it happens. focus on yourself and make yourself the man only a fool wouldn't want. you'll feel good about yourself and that really means everything right there. basically it's an attitude of if you want me you're going to have to work and come get me, breadcrumbs ain't going to cut it, and that's exactly what this text from my ex was a mere breadcrumb...and by not taking the bait has made me even stronger than I was before that text came in. I hope this helps you and others who are feeling that horrid pain...people who are just starting to go through this. Those first few mobths arw BRUTAL! But stick to NC! trust me it gets easier just go reread some of my old post from a year ago to see where I was at. my emotions probably mirror many of yours.

sorry about the lack of caps, I am using voice to text to write this.