What I am saying is that if you truly want to respect your H's opinion, you have to start with the biggest opinion he's shared, which is that the things he's shared about your M are powerful enough that he had to destroy his own M to escape them. That's a pretty big statement. He didn't leave the M for the second time over a 3 year old issue that he was too stupid to realize you'd changed.
Take his feedback very, very seriously, and see if you can get to the point where you can acknowledge it without defending yourself.
I hear what you are saying loud and clear Zues. In theory I get that he believes the things that he is saying and that it is the truth to him. I've been reading a lot on here about how the WAS blames every problem in the marriage on the LBS so they feel better about leaving. They will take problems in the marriage and make them bigger and make us out to be the bad guy. It's so hard to not defend myself when that is happening. I know I need to be better about that because it never goes well.
If you are never supposed to bring up the R and they never do, how are you supposed to validate those feelings for him?
Me:36 H: 29 T: 4 years M: 2 years No kids In-house sep 10/4/14 H moved out 1/2/15 Talk of D 4/9/15
"She's standing on a line between giving up and seeing how much more she can take" John Mayer
