A bit of journaling - I went over to W's place to hammer out our taxes. W wanted to go to some free tax help, but they were not open today. So long story short, we agreed together to file jointly (saving me several thousand $$), and she got to keep the significant tax refunds.
I know how to negotiate at my job. But gosh darnit I should've negotiated a better deal with W. But I guess I was just too relieved that we could file jointly, and I wouldn't get hit by a big tax bill, that I just wanted to get the returns filed.
W left me at her place to go to a "meeting" to let me finish up filing the returns. I could've snooped her computer, but I did not. Ok, I did see a couple of files on her desktop:
- how to end a relationship; - good pickup lines (funny, what are we in college?).
As W left I told her how happy I was we could work out filing our taxes together. She gave me a hug, and said "now we just need to finish up our divorce. We don't want to still be separated after 30 years of marriage." Brain-freeze, all I could do was give her 2 thumbs up (?!, whaaat?)
Ok, W just called me. She was pulled over by a police officer, and told her that her license is suspended, and she has no insurance. I know there is also at least 1 unpaid traffic ticket. She asked me how she gets her license back if she can't drive. I knew she was looking for me to drive her, but instead I said "that's the catch 22, you can only get your license back by driving to the county office."
She wanted to have me talk to the police officer, "you know, b/c my husband is a lawyer". Really? I said no, and asked her to call me when the officer had finished writing her up. She has not called since.
And the art of negotiation is to keep the eyes on the outcome, right? I'd say it was a good work in that respect. Nobody ever gets all they want in a negotiation anyway, right?
The thumbs up? I'd say that was honest wouldn't you? Neither of you wants to be separated after 30 years of marriage
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Hi AJ and Kat, yes, I am relieved. I have already moved on to my next battle. I feel my landlord is unfairly charging me a late fee for my last month's rent. And I've decided to call them on it, which is something I NEVER do. You know it's easier to just pay the late fee than make waves.
But for some reason I decided this was a something I wanted to stand up and fight. We'll see how this goes.
W tried calling me earlier, but I couldn't take her call. It turns W texted me to let me know she is having an MRI done, and I don't know why she would have this done. She said she would call me later.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Well, today did not go well. W called me up this morning and was chatty (which I now recognize means she wants something from me). She told me about her MRI yesterday for a torn rotator cuff, and there was another older woman who was scared about the MRI, and so W sat with her. It turns W knows 2 of her daughters, and they are now FB friends. Small world. Nice.
Then W complains of the cost of her tickets when she was pulled over by the police earlier this week. One ticket is $125 (she can handle that), then there is another ticket for $500. This doesn't count her tags for driving w/o insurance or driving after suspension (of her license). And she was complaining that the police officer was going to tow her car when she was 2 blocks away from her place.
So W asked me to drive her to the county office/courthouse so she could start paying her fines. Where she gets her $$$, I don't know, and I don't want to know. But I told her "no".
But then W says she cannot get her insurance b/c her license is suspended. So she asked me if she could put her insurance in my name. I tried to get out of it by suggesting other routes, none of which worked. I then agreed she could put her insurance in my name, as long as she paid for her insurance premiums.
When I went over to W's place to pick up s13, W was dressed in a long black dress, jewelry, full make-up, and she was obviously going out tonight. I told her she looked nice, and left it at that.
D17 called me up to tell me she made a red velvet cake today, her brother (s13) ate all of the frosting, and could I pick up some extra frosting for her. And mom can't drive her w/o a license. I was already on my way so I could not, and she was disappointed. Another moment where I scream on the inside of my brain "I didn't choose this!"
PS, W just called me. One of W's bfs picked her up tonight to go to a dance place. Bf's car got pulled over. And it was the same police officer who pulled her over earlier this week. Yes, small world. Ick.
You know you can just make frosting, right? Just a thought.
I doubt seriously you'll be happy you let her onto your insurance, Wet.
The rest? She needs to walk this path. You should let her and you won't want to watch.
My $0.02 AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
You are letting her figure out her other problems, why let her ruin your name with the insurance? And by the way you are then responsible when she doesn't pay. Aren't you trying to get yor credit back in shape?
She is certainly her own train wreck. AJ is right,you might not want to watch. It isn't going to be pretty. Let her go.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory