Your BD is very fresh. It's not an easy time for you. As much as the sitch can last a long time, the beginning can be the hardest part for most of us. Keep that in mind.
At this stage, I see two issues you need to work on. First, your patience. Cadet is right about you showing impatience here and it is likely the same in your life. Your sitch is not going to be made or broken in the next 24 hours. Take the long view, don't stress out about every text and communication. Second is that you need to take the lead on your sitch. You get the best advice in DR, then you come here for some specific advice and mostly a place to think. It's not a team of advisors to decide in your place or even to give you carefully laid out options. It's all volunteers, most of which are also in the throngs of a D.
Stop worrying about what your W will think. If you're not vindictive, then it doesn't matter if she thinks you are. Remember that she's in the fog and that means that her opinions aren't logical. Make sure that you are very clear about yourself and hang on to that certainty while the storm passes. She screams at you "YOU'RE SEEKING REVENGE!!!" and, since you're not, you look at her calmly and your respond "I'm sorry you feel that way. I am not seeking revenge" because that's the truth. End of conversation. Don't engage further. Speak with your actions. Don't try to convince her because you won't. Don't expect validation from her at this stage. Be fair, be honest, protect yourself.
This focus on increasing your chances of R will not help you. You are so focused on a certain outcome that you lose your grip on the current situation. A word from a 7-month sitch newcomer: since your sitch will not resolve itself in the next couple of months, you'll have plenty of time to evolve your thinking on whether you want to R or not. You're still under shock so it's normal that you want to R badly and perhaps it's going to last until she also wants it. But the best you can do now is just to keep your options open. Do not think that there are wordings that will bring her back right now. Your job right now is to take some distance and to decide what is "the right thing" for you.
I'll give you my example. I've decided that I will be flexible with regards to the kids. I've decided that I want minimal communication and contact, so my text and emails are pure business and short. I want to be proud of my actions so I never ever share my anger, impatience or sadness with WW. I've decided that I'm no longer responsible for her happiness, so I don't try to comfort her. I've decided that I would be very clear and unwavering with her, so every thing I do is consistent and constant. I've decided that I'm ready for dating, something that is frowned upon here at this stage of my sitch, but again I've my own principles and live with the consequences. Once you have clarity about who you are and have such a set of principles, every single decision becomes much easier to make.
By the way, don't go making the mistake that it's by being the kindest and most compassionate H that you'll increase your chances of R. You need to re-create attraction by gaining her respect first. That means being strong, clear, decisive. You will have to do things that will upset her in the long run. You'll give her the impression that you are moving on (central to DBing). Again, don't seek her validation on your actions.
What you need right now is not tactical tips on what to write to your WW. You need to develop the right mindset and attitude. You need to understand how these things work. Remember DR, re-read it. Go read the success stories (top of my threads) to understand the arc of the successful sitches. You focus on a text message, but you really need to GAL. You wonder what she'll think, but your really need to develop your own personality. See what I mean? Go back to DR, listen to the advice here. It's not always what you seek, but it's for good reasons.
Hope this helps.
THAT ^^^^, right there, is PURE GOLD. Much wisdom!
