I understand that my old marriage is dead and has been since BD. I accept that. I also accept that I have to change if there is any chance of this working at all. I acknowledge that and work on it weekly - if not every few days. Examples are support groups, gym work, mirror work, GAL, PMA, reading a lot of self help books, working on doing things on my own, facing down my fears, living by Sandis rules, etc...
My question now is what about my WW? I do not detect any kind of "work" at all on her part or any willingness to do so.
My instinct tells me that I am doing all this DB stuff for ME only, regardless if she does any work or not. If she chooses to ignore any issues she may have that brought this marriage down, does that mean the marriage is doomed? I guess what I am asking, doesn't it take two people who want to make a R work, and if only one is making any change or growth efforts, then how is that a changed new dynamic?
It makes me think of the old adage, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink". But then that leads me to control issues, I don't want to lead my WW anywhere. She has to make the choice independent of my wishes.
So, I have thought myself into a corner here. Have I over analyzed my situation again?
