Until your W comes back to you and says in no uncertain terms "what will it take to fix our M?", all your time snooping is pretty much time wasted.
They won't usually come back and say this. Usually someone out in the game will sit them on their ass and all of a sudden hubby or wifey looks like a hero.
Originally Posted By: zew
You will drown yourself in a sea of speculation, and whether you are guessing correctly or not will make absolutely no difference to the outcome.
With good intel it might not be speculation at all. You might have a gold mind of facts, of situations on text, voice and video. You might have her actually conjugating with people you know who got it on tape. So no do not discount intel and call it guessing.
Originally Posted By: zew
Use your time more wisely. Use your time to figure out what you want to be and where you want to be. Figure out the steps to get there and start on your journey. Don't wai t until tomorrow, start now.
Does the answer have to always be that you need to end up with who was the current spouse. What if the current spouse had ALWAYS cheated on you. You where used for support and convenience. Would you want to keep that role?
Originally Posted By: zew
If you follow that journey with conviction, you may find people joining you, maybe even your W. Perhaps not. And if she doesn't, it won't really matter since you know you are on the right path, with conviction, right?
Screw what she thinks, it's about you. And I don't think most betrayed spouses had to be "better" to keep their spouse from cheating. I think they just found a greedy spouse who would cheat. But the fallout from being cheated on does provide great impetus and drive if you allow it, to achieve and make yourself better.
Should you make yourself better for someone who never deserved you in the first place? No... Do it for you.
Originally Posted By: zew
Realize that your value is not in chasing your W (or anyone else) in circles. Pick a point, draw a straight line, and go.
If your game is right they will come to you. Men or women. So focus on you.
