MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART V

[pilot]

Hey, question since you are in the place you are at. Have you given up all hope for ever R? Does that ever start to go away at some point? I feel like it will always be in the back of my mind.

Hey Roid, maybe I can answer that for you. The answer is both yes and no. At some point everyone (or most) will reach a place emotionally where they move on. And by that I mean they are ok with the idea of a future without their spouse. They may start to date or may still wait. But their actions are no longer controlled by the thought process of how the spouse may view it/react. Everything is done for your own benefit.

Case in point, me. My BD was 2 Septembers ago, found out about A last April, she filed D in May, and separated last June. I started DB in June and was very active here on the forums. I was able to detach pretty well over the summer and progress was made and lost at various points. She never served me on the D. But then sometime around October I realized I was ok without my W and I dropped the rope completely. I was no longer my goal to win her back. It was my goal to make the best of life for me and my kids with things I could control. She was off on her own journey and responsible for her own actions. Me on mine. I actually filed for D in the new state we had moved to as she had never served me on her filing. I am ok with the D. Now does that mean that every now and then I dont sometimes think about R? Sure, it crosses my mind. I have even thought about how it could/would happen. I dont dwell on it, but given how our relationship has become very friendly since October, it would not surprise me if she does try to R before going in front of a judge. Especially since I learned more about what was going on and why she probably felt we would never be able to R.

Everyone will have their own limits and their own timeline. Eventually you will reach a point in your life where you feel more in control and your W has less power to influence your actions. Does not mean you have given up, it just means you have progressed. How you go from there is up to you.

Hope this helped.