Welcome! And I am so sorry that you need to be here. Fortunately, there is hope for your M, and most important there is hope for you.
Maybe you want to start telling your story a little by little in your posts. Like Cadet said, it seems he is an MLC but that is just part of the script.
The one thing you will hear a lot from all of us that are here for awhile, is that you need to start taking care of yourself. Eat well, try to sleep enough hours a day, go out with your girlfriends, do some GAL to distract and reinvent yourself, get some emotional support with a close friend(s) or family.
If you can't function well right now, go to your doctor and discuss the use of anti depressants, it may be good for you to just get something light to just take out the harsh edges.
If you did not start yet, go to an IC by yourself. Independent of doing therapy together w/your H, it's important you start working on yourself.
Read DB or DR books, or both if you can. There are a lot of info there and also a lot of valuable info here in these boards.
Hang in there, it is the most horrible and hard thing you can ever experience, but if you take one day after another, things start to look a little different if not better.
