Wow - that must be hard. On one hand it is envious to me but on the ohter I can see how difficult it must be to see her and yet not speak.
Are you not sure the OM is out of the picture? If he is, have you tried therapy/counseling? If he is in the picture, then therapy I have heard is a waste of time and money.
If anyone leaves, it should be her - NOT YOU. whoever stays has the more stronger position legally.
Good luck - I sincerely hope that the two of you can work this out. I really do.
