Yes Cherry. Last June i found some posts from other sites that i read that started to open my eyes to MAYBE what was going on. i was away on business in Kansas and had a lot of time and tears on my hands. those were very dark days for Zephyr. there was a spark of hope and i started to put on a more positive attitide. it was a few months later than i started to pull back from wife a little. i found this site and it really started to put into context some of the things that i had started to see were making things better. i had done LOTS of soul serching and spoken with IC about many many facetts of my life. I read the DR book back in december (and a couple of times since, along with others) and had a long discussion with the wife about (what i understand now as codependancy). she felt like we were both too wrapped up in each other and blah...blah...blah. but it was actual truth, maybe it was being spun a funny way.
Since i have read the book and started the process, it has felt like things are very different between us. like i said, she has been more pleasant to me. She tries to get in touch with me all the time, sometimes i have time to talk. i have always enjoyed her company immeasurably. we have really connected at times...other times, not as mcuh and i was never sure why. i was blind to the possibility that maybe she could have been in an affair of some kind. Love Blinders. Anyway. between doing the REAL work on myself and the awesome help of those on this site, i feel like a different person than i was even 9 months ago. I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON than 9 months ago. SHE HAS NOTICED.
As far as how long you want to go with this, that is going to be a decision that Cherry and Cherry alone makes. What is best for you and your future? What is Best for your little baby?
I have read Cadet's front page post whenever someone new shows up and evertime i understand a little more of what is on there.
This is why we are granted the gift of time. for us to use and figure ourselves out. to figure out what is going to make us happy. To make ourselves better people WITH OR WITHOUT our spouse.
