Ugh I know exactly what you mean with the anxiety and dread. I just wrote a post about my little pity party I'm throwing myself.
I love your analogy about the man at the bottom of the hole that's exactly what it's like- and over the years all the sand has been dumped on- and it's time to dig that person out!! We honestly do deserve the best and to be happy. I guess I'm the early days it's hard- and it does hurt like hell.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16