I understand and agree with you with the re-contact clock reset. Getting the details of the cellphone billing is a good idea (and I do have her password for this too), but those details are pretty scarce. It is not one of the major cell phone companies so they have to save money somewhere. I feel the forwarding copies of the texts automatically to something I can view will suffice on that (she cannot delete these), then viewing her call log on her phone will coincide with that (cannot delete that list either).
That would be fine if your overall objective was COMPLIANCE. It's not. Complying with NC in order to respect her husband's boundary is that regard IS important, yes, but the overriding goal here is to shelter her from ANY contact with OM for an extended period of time so that she can properly emotionally and even chemically withdraw from him completely (six months MINIMUM).
You wouldn't want a recovering alcoholic to periodically have a shot of alcohol in their mouth, so long as they spit it out (after swishing it around and savoring it a little) and then told you about it. Or allow the gambling addict to get a 2-BR apartment above the casino (that he has to walk thru every day in order to come and go), so long as they told you about each trip thru the casino and you had a way of verifying it to see if the story matched up.
Is there some compelling reason why she SHOULDN'T change her cellphone # and her email address(es) that I'm not aware of?
Starsky
Last edited by Starsky309; 04/10/1505:56 PM. Reason: added the gambling analogy
