* Around two weeks ago W and I agreed upon a parenting plan for the kids. We are sticking to it very well. Her apparent lack of trust in me seems to have been resolved.
* Over the same time period W is being a lot nicer and somewhat more considerate towards me.
* W definitely in contact with OM still but A status unknown.
* I have had a dramatic upturn in managing emotions and dealing with situation. I am improving in my GAL activities.
* W making more noises about selling the house.
* No R talk/D talk mentioned in a few weeks. This seems to have helped things settle down. It appears D at a point she can afford it is still her (unspoken) intent.
Generally, things seemed to have improved quite a bit in terms of our interactions. See my last few posts on previous thread for that. Such a turnaround lends itself to being skeptical of W's actions. Is it to ensure I co-operate on house sale? Is it a genuine turnaround now her anger has subsided? Something else?
The next big thing I see on the horizon is the handling of our house sale. I see it as inevitable as this point. It will surely take months to go through the whole process of actually selling it. I am not looking to our house being sold. It's not the house itself - that's just a building - it's what it represents - a family together.
At this point I am following the Last Resort Technique. I haven't initiated contact with W in over two weeks. I only respond when she initiates. I don't pursue in any form. I validate wherever possible. My 180s are my change of clothing, glasses, new aftershave/deodorant, as well as having a tight grip on my previous tendencies to argue/shout/name call/be a jerk. I am more easy going over the parenting of our children. I'm GAL-ing pretty well. I need to expand on that.
Two things I would like to throw out there for anyone reading to chew on:
1) A day or so post BD I bought concert tickets for W. They are for her current favourite singer and not my cup of tea at all. She didn't want them initially. I moved them from the fireplace somewhere out of sight. Upon leaving for MIL's W noticed they'd gone and reminded me I had said she could have them regardless (I did say that at the time I presented them to her). I said she had told me she didn't want them and so I would do something with them. All of this is now about six weeks ago.
After the rollercoaster of events during that time we are getting on better these last two weeks or so. The concert is still about a month away. I'm not going to mention anything about it until nearer the time (if I mention it at all). I don't want to just give them to her and have her go with someone else (mainly because I paid for them and they were quite expensive). I would go with her to the concert but I don't want to appear to be trying to schedule a date or anything. I could give them to relatives but the money issue still applies. I can't get a refund on the tickets. Another option is to try and sell them to any interested third party. I was wondering on what your thoughts are over this?
2) It is my birthday in a couple of weeks. How should I handle this? It falls on a day when W has kids. W mentioned today that S6 has been invited to a party the day after my birthday (one of my days with kids). Now, we could swap days that week. I could request we do a family event (pursuing issue here?). I could drop off/pick up S6 at the party and go out from there. S6 could skip the party (I would feel bad here). Any other suggestions?
BD - 30TH JAN 2015 S - 30TH JAN 2015 PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014) CONTINUAL TALK OF D ME: 31 W: 28 T: 10yrs M: 4.5yrs D:5, S:6
