First, she absolutely DID NOT want to negotiate. She wanted me to take on all of the debt and keep our own retirements. Her retirement is worth 7-10x what mine is, and we have about 75k in debt. That is certainly not an equitable split.
When BD first happened, I was quite emotional and told her I would do anything to stay together. Her proposal came from this statement, and at first I was a martyr and said OK. However, the more I pondered, the more I realized that me falling on my sword would not bring us back together, and in fact would be detrimental for the rest of my life. She knew that I was emotional, and have always been non-confrontational, and wanted to use that against me.
I did not want to get lawyers involved. My wife filed papers and had me served. I had to formulate a response. I sent wife email asking her to sit down and mediate things, but she never responded. She was hoping (my thoughts) that I would miss response deadline and her proposals would be final by default.
My initial consultation with lawyer ended with his advice to do this ourselves, since it is so straightforward. Her non-response to that proposal is what led to my action.
As far as slowing down, that's what I am trying to do. I do not want this divorce, and have told my lawyer to take his time with the process, while not impeding things or causing any legal issues.
Me M51 WW F46 T 17 yrs M 16 yrs 9 children D29 D27 D26 S24 S24 S19 S19 niece18 S17 8 grandchildren ILYBINILWY: 12/15/14 I discover PA 12/31/14 She files D: 1/9/15 She moves out 3/2/15 D papers served 3/18/15
