I hired a lawyer the day after BD. She is an ex-DA for the drug task force, but has been practicing family law for some time now. Her father is also a lawyer and was the juvenile court judge for over 15 years. I sought legal advice pretty quickly when we separated because I wanted to make sure I was protecting me and the kids. I was afraid that knowing it had not been long that he was off the Oxy and his behavior that prompted me to kick him out that it was a possibility that he was taking again. I just couldn't prove it and so I just ignored the evidence staring me in the face. As of last Monday, she has all my paperwork and I hired a private investigator to do a hidden asset search to ensure that he wasn't hiding anything else. To my surprise the report results came back and he disclosed everything. It cost me a lot for PI, but it was worth the peace of mind.
He wants joint custody and I am steadfast in my no. I have been allowing visitation but usually when both my 16 year and my 6 year old are able to go. That way if something happens my 16 year old can step up to the plate if needed. I haven't told her this is my reason though. And I'm trying to be very diplomatic. I have handed the text conversations and phone records over to her. I did advise her that if he wants to pursue joint custody that he would need to provide his phone records to confirm he has no contact with either of the two I have identified as his dealers/pushers. And that the records could be scrutinized to determine if he has found other avenues for his addiction. But if I have to take this to that point it will get really ugly. I am not an ugly person. I am working with the lawyer to strike a balance between the issues and the outcomes.
On another note, since both kids are with Dad tonight, I was thinking I might go to my first social club event. I signed up for this social club that puts together events like salsa dancing, horseback riding, dancing, dinners, and so much more. They have a live band tonight at Wild Wings as their event and I'm thinking I should just go and have a good time. Hardest part of GAL is that so many happenings on the weekends don't really get started until late. This one starts at 9:30... Normally, that's my bed time! Gosh, I sound 90 years old. Anyway, I think I'm just going to go.
