Zelda09 - Somehow of all the people to find my post you found it and I just updated my post with the realization that my husband is still taking Oxy too. He sought treatment last November and I thought things were going well only to find out he never really withdrew or did and started back up again.
I have to say if you know he has a problem with Oxy, you have to start protecting you. My counselor has really helped me with this. Maybe you need a new counselor one that is just yours. I picked someone who is a marriage counselor but well versed in drug abuse. Not because I am the user but because I know my husband was using and now I know he is still using. My biggest problem is that I am too nice, I always give people the benefit of the doubt even when the problem is staring me in the face, and I always look for the positive. No that glass is not half empty it is half full kind of person.
I spent the first month never defying gravity, not sleeping, barely eating, vomiting what I did eat, but by the second month I was like enough is enough who wants someone who doesn't want to even get out of bed? I would love to save my marriage of over 12 years, but I realize that I can't compete with the drugs especially now that I have confirmation that he is still using them. I have to protect me and in my case I have kids. You want kids but right now is not the time given the sitch.
Pick one thing you haven't done in years that you really enjoyed doing and GO DO IT!!! I went dancing with friends last weekend. It felt wrong the whole way there. Even when I got inside I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. One of my GF's gave me a shot of something called a fireball (tasted like a red hot). Loosened me up and next thing I know, I am laughing, dancing, telling jokes, and I was me again. Maybe yours isn't dancing it is something else. JUST GO DO IT!!!
After the hubby dropped the bomb, I signed up for a social club for singles called event and adventures. They take separated people too even though as long as you are living apart. I'm signed up for a members mixer next Wednesday. The kids my 16 year old and 6 year old are both going with Dad tonight so I'm thinking of going to the event tonight which is a live band at Wild Wing Café, which I have never been to.
As a couple, we used to do so many fun things together but in the last several years nothing. This club holds events for things I like to do. Thinking of salsa dancing on the 21st, never done that but I sure would like to. They are doing a game show night on the 23rd for wheel of fortune which I LOVE LOVE LOVE that game and I'm good at it so I might do that too.
I miss being around people that aren't my kids and not my husband. Right now, I'm being amicable. It is hard cause it is like he is a functioning addict... He works and makes good money but he's popping pills, acting erratically, etc.
I don't think I have seen one post that says you did something for you yet. Get a mani/pedi, get your hair done, buy a new dress and get your butt out of the house. Nab a friend so you don't chicken out and just go for it. It will make you feel so much better. That one night alone changed my entire outlook. I feel better about me, I know I'm still desirable because I was hit on several times, and I let loose and had fun. If nothing else, it is part of keeping your sanity.
