So H came to the house yesterday during lunch time. My car was in a driveway and he got into the house with his key anyway. No privacy from him. I was at work, but he could think I was home.
The kids told me that he said hi and asked for a sleeping bag, he then told the kids that he would be in a trip until the weekend and asked then if they would like to go skying on saturday or sunday.
H does not measure how much he hurts the boys. This is their spring break and he did not spent any time with them. He just do things for himself. It's amazing that he is divorcing me and his kids too.
The boys said that he was acting strange, like he tough I was home somewhere. I have the tax return papers right by the front the door on the bench and he did not take them. So much for asking the papers last weekend. Now, I will probably see him in a house doing taxes this weekend.
The cycle, he talks about going to the mountains and then comes to the house the whole weekend. I need to be strong this time, prepare myself to get away from him. I know his game, I know the cycle and how things get. It's up to me to stop this.
It's very hard since he start talking about us, our lives. Many times I got involved thinking that we were trying to understand each other. But this is just his way of getting closer. I wish I could grasp of why he does this things. I don't get it. My mind is not distorted this way and I don't see the meaning of all what he does.
Maybe because he is in a crazy mode, doing things that hurt us and don't even realizing it. Or maybe he wants to hurt me so much that he is hurting my kids, knowing that this is what means the most for me, since he knows I am not reacting to the other things he is doing.
He is definitely killing the last drop of R we had. My S15 said that his dad told them that he will be out for the next three weeks. He will go to Texas for a week and then to Brasil and Argentina for two weeks. S15 said: "Here we go, no father for the next three weeks, it would be easier if he was dead, at least we would know he is not trying to be absent.".
These words hurt, he is just a kid. H has no idea of the wounds he is leaving behind. He has no right to treat his kids this way. I really hope that life goes around and one day he will come to his senses and pay a heavy price for what he is doing.
He is finally doing what will make me to take him from my life once for all. Why do I want a man like this in my life? He is not a man, he is a coward, irresponsible ass. I can't see that he will ever change, he is a idiot selfish and will never do anything without thinking about himself first.
Sorry, I am just venting my hate. It is getting stronger and I am so disgusted with all what this idiot is doing. It's pathetic to see that he has no regard for anything. Maybe it is MLC, I don't know, I just know it is aggravating, insulting.
Sometimes I think that it would be so difficult to get back into some R with this man, how is it possible to let go all the wounds that are being created now.
