You are lucky you are getting feedback. It is hardly a guarantee and doesn't make it any easier for you but I would consider it encouraging if my W and I had separated once before and got back together. In my case we sort of did many years ago before we were married, but that was sort of like a BF and GF thing and a different issue from the one we have now.
I am also in the position of having been the partner who was "controlling and abusive". I think there are certainly reasons I became like this towards her, but I think that is actually part of my personality. Again, I think there are reasons behind why this is the case BUT there are no excuses for being like this to my W or anyone else for that matter.
It may very well be too late already to save my M. I suspect it is. But for the sake of my own future I need to address these issues.
If your partner still "blames" the same reasons you think you have fixed then I think there are several scenarios to consider. Either you haven't really, you have but not enough for him, OR he really has his own reasons and is just using the old rhetoric. I said before it is encouraging that you have come back together after A separation, but maybe he neve really did come back, making it easier to get distracted by another woman. How was the R when you got back together?
I am only a newbie here, with D and s**t, but it is becoming clear to me that there is almost ALWAYS another man//woman. In my case I am willing to believe that at the time of BD this didn't include a sexual A at all. An emotional A is worse in my books. But it could just be another person who makes them feel attractive and so gives them the strength to cut throats at will. (Sorry, got a bit angry towards the end there)
Last edited by Pyrite; 04/10/1506:44 AM.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
