OK screw it. I'll just take the whole day off. I had an appointment in the 1st half of the day (Australia). was all positive. I am finally doing stuff about my longstanding medical condition - which was another factor in my "depression".
Thanks for reading my stuff. It is not exactly the best account, and I can fully understand peoples responses. It is abrupt, and I was fully aware of the tone when I was writing. reasons: deliberately aloof, trying to use as few words as possible...
Originally Posted By: Z
that you were potentially a WAS at one point
Not really. I felt neglected in the M. I tried to convey this to my W and suggest that we should spend time on our R. But we never seemed to have the time. And our regime with the baby (dictated by my W), didn't really allow for it. I started getting depressed. And drinking. Not a huge ammount, but regularly. My W was too scared to leave the baby with anyone to enjoy a night out until the baby was about 12 months old. The frustrating irony was that her Mother is a child care worker. We hardly ever even watched TV together. I continued down my road of depression.
We had never had a very physical R, but my heart broke when she admitted that she would rather play with iPhoto than make love. Not just once, but in general. This is I think when I turned completely and became angry. But quietly so. Over the next few months I went downhill. I wasn't captured by my work at the time, I dreaded going home because all I did was cook and clean and was disappointed further by W's inattention to making me feel better. I had good times with the baby but they were intermittent. I tried to satisfy myself with these moments. I bottled it inside and I didn't talk to anyone about. I went crazy. Eventually I was suicidal. Then I cried to my W for help. She was shocked because it didn't seem that bad. I sought counselling, went on anti-depressants etc. Unfortunately the counselling focused on the current stresses in my life, and never really got to my deeper issues.
Originally Posted By: Z
that you were potentially a WAS at one point
After a few months of IC I was over the worst of it an so I stopped going. I thought I was better. But the underlying issue that made everything else unbearable was my R. And that didn't change. This is when I was seriously considering just walking away.
Originally Posted By: Z
that you made changes recently and fixed things but it didn't matter
unfortunately i didn't make any real changes to anything. I just became complacent and "depressed".
But really only around my wife, and w her. I was grumpy, short, impatient and no fun to be with. Not all the time, but enough. I expected her to make me feel better and when she didn't I got even worse with her.
Unfortunately things always blew up every few months when my sexual frustration had mounted, and I couldn't keep quiet. They were really the only times we fought. Arguments stopped even mentioning making love and it was just about sex. Eventually she admitted that she did have intimacy issues and she went to IC. Again for a few months and then she stopped, thinking she was better. Then we had baby number 2 and of course things were a shambles for a while. And I was still no fun, grumpy, angry (full of resentment is a much better description).
The W went back to work in August. So back to me taking early shift, up at 5, crappy job, pick up kids, cook clean feed, and then W walked in. dinner on table plays w girls. i clean again and then take ol,dest to bed. Mostly going to sleep with her as up at 5 and no point in getting up to be with W.
Originally Posted By: Z
But nothing you really did wrong stands out in my memory banks.
So, I was "depresssed". I was grumpy, angry, no fun etc. She met a guy at work who is (24) fun, happy, etc.
I am at a loss of what to add. I'm sure I didn't tell you what you wanted to know.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
ok - just read a bit withnole_girl - yes. She said unhealthy R, Now it was toxic, abusive. she's not the same person.
but really, there was very little discussion of this. BD and fallout lasted nearly 4 weeks. she was away for 1 of those. 1st 2 weeks her only criticism was she feels emotionally abused, sick of depression.
all my issues, and she wants nothing to do with it.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
ok - just read a bit withnole_girl - yes. She said unhealthy R, Now it was toxic, abusive. she's not the same person.
but really, there was very little discussion of this. BD and fallout lasted nearly 4 weeks. she was away for 1 of those. 1st 2 weeks her only criticism was she feels emotionally abused, sick of depression.
all my issues, and she wants nothing to do with it.
sorry more clarifications. "she says that she is not the same person" was not really a reason for D, it was why I shouldn't pursue the great R we used to have.
Also - it was almost 3 weeks. BD. rest of week 1. week 2, ends with staying at a friends for 2 nights. W Away. W flys home. MC the next day and official S.
Last edited by Pyrite; 04/10/1506:06 AM.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
