The past week has been strange. On Monday he sent me this text:
"I forgive you for what we are going through and your part. I hope you can forgive me and I don't hate you. We fortunately serve a God full of grace and he uses everything only to grow us." I just responded that I didn't hate him and I forgave him for his part too. He then said he would come over one night this week to start talking about the division of assets.

We sent some more texts back and forth about money. Then today out of the blue he sent me this text: "I really hope you know that I am not dating anyone and I really don't hate you."
I said that I didn't know what to believe. Then I asked him why he cared what I thought anyway since he seemed ready to move forward with the divorce. He said that he still cared about me. We went back and forth a little bit and he said we could talk about it when he got "home" tonight.

So he came by tonight and it was so horrible. He said that he doesn't ever want to go back to the marriage we had and that he doesn't think things can get better so it would be best for us just to go forward with the divorce. He said he has tried too many times and doesn't want to anymore. While it's not what he wants he feels that it would be best. He's happier now than he was in the marriage and just can't see going back. He doesn't want to hurt me but he doesn't want to be married to me anymore. He cares about me but doesn't love me anymore.

I wish I could say I did everything I was supposed to in this situation, but I didn't. I did EVERYTHING wrong. I got upset, I asked him why he was doing this, I asked him to reconsider, I cried. In 45 minutes I ruined any progress that I have made in the last few months. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut?

I really think this is it, I don't think he is going to ever come back.

Me:36 H: 29
T: 4 years
M: 2 years
No kids
In-house sep 10/4/14
H moved out 1/2/15
Talk of D 4/9/15

"She's standing on a line between giving up and seeing how much more she can take" John Mayer