Kramer, I am so sorry that you are here feeling this tremendous grief. As my IC told me, when I was practically screaming, "Was it real, did it mean anything, anything to him?" Her response - "did it mean something to you? thsrs what's important."
I sobbed and it took me a long time to get it - I'm still reeling.
But it's ok that you loved, you loved her well, you felt loved and you did your best as a H. No one, even her, can take the richness of what that felt like to you, away from you. Sure, it feels like she's pissed all over it, but it's your choice how to grieve, whether you become bitter. In time, for all of us.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
