I'm glad things are clear for you now and you can see what you must do. It's very difficult not to react when they try to push your buttons, but once it becomes clear what needs to be done, it's a little easier not to react because in your mind you can keep repeating that it's just temporary and you can get through this.
I do have to laugh at the breakfast. It's great he remembered, but true to mlc form he has to add a little dig in there. I like the way you told him you're not mad he spent money on the cabinet. You'll get through this and you'll be just fine!
Quote: You've said your h has always drank, but I get the impression it was more of a social drinker.
Oh and Sting, you are correct, H is more than just a social drinker, it's rarely one or two, it's all or nothing.
H and I have been out together the last two nights and he had maybe three Friday night and two drinks last night. Must be the company.
After the episode last Thursday, I have a whole new outlook on H and his drinking. It's like seeing him that way for the first time..or maybe it's that it doesn't have any affect on me like in the past. I used to make it about me, now it's not. Which is enlighening and freeing at the same time.
I've been thinking back to the other times when H has been that bad and I do remember every single time. H was 37 when I first met him, so maybe he's been MLCing since then I don't know.
One time he had been golfing and drinking all day. Called me drunker than hell, asking what I thought of him now, basically beating himself up overe the phone and he started crying and eventually hung up. To this day I have no idea what that was about.
One time, he came back to where we were living and took a sleeping bag and left, saying something about the Marine's and that I didn't know what he really did while in the Marine's. He wasn't in active service, he was stationed at a nuclear plant in California. He slept in the back of his truck all night somewhere.
Another time, this was when SS was maybe 10 or 11 he treated him like crapp. They were actually on the same age level then, too. SS ended up going home to his mom's. H would have SS stay with him during the summer. I remember it like it was yesterday.
Five years ago May, H came home one night all sauced up, mad as hell that I hadn't planted anything in our garden, I was just pregnant at the time and H said he was sick of this marriage, that he wanted a D if I lost the baby (I had been having problems). So his unhappiness goes back till then at least if not longer.
H has lots of deamons. Lots of past issues, lots of childhood issues and on and on.
I'm holding on, not giving up, not kicking him out. H is not getting off that easy
I am feel so darn good today, want to sing or chirp..tweet, tweet. The sun is shining, March is coming to an end, my PMA is back!!
I've been on my treadmill three mornings in a row! Need to keep walking as it is a PMA boost and thinking time for me. Soon I'll be able to walk outside, yes I'm a fair weather walker.
At my checkup a few weeks ago, my blood test was a little off, thyroid. So they took more blood last week and it looks like my thyroid might be a little off..whatever that means....tend to gain weight yikes, being tired, colder, happier? that what's I thought too. Anyway I don't feel like I have an symptoms, but just in case am going to be hitting the walking trail more often.
I have gained back my postbomb weight, which is okay. According to other people I was "too thin" my dad liked to point it out and encouraged me to eat more, this is the same man who looks like walking skeleton himself
H was gone for about five hours last night, when he got home we talked about the basketball games, where he went, that he only had two beers the whole night--said he was sick. Something inside me was saying he was with OW, but then who knows, and really there isn't anything I could do if he was with her. It's just his clothes weren't smokey smelling.
H has a doctor appt. this Friday, which he confessed to Saturday night, they want to "scope" him to find out what's wrong with his stomach. H is in pain for about three hours after he eats, spend a lot of time in the bathroom. H doesn't think it has anything to do with his drinking either..surprise, surprise..
This week is going to be my week. I have social activities tomorrow night and Thursday night with gal pals.
I have been praying a lot. My prayer closet is with me all the time. It's that place in my head, that other world/God, that I can go to whenever I need to. This morning I even said a little pray for my H's drinking buddies. There was a very sad story in the paper this weekend about a girl, 17 who has been locked in her parent's basement for the last three years, abused, neglected, treated like an animal. She had three other sisters who weren't abused...it's a sad, sad story. I prayed for the girl this morning and I thanked God for all that I had. When you think your life is terrible, when you think things couldn't get any worse, think of this girl who's been living in a basement, not allowed to go anywhere, to celebrate holidays, nothing, who had a dog collar put around her neck while she cleaned the house and was shocked everytime she didn't do something right, who had her teeth knocked out with a hammer!! sorry for the graphics, but life could be so much worse.
Cathy, We DO need to count our blessings. We have so many! You sound so great. Pray that the doctor can give wise counsel to your H. The Lord can use anyone to carry His message...
Have a great day. Sounds like it has already started well!!
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
H called me this morning at work. The first words out of his mouth were "do you really hate me?" to which I replied no, not at all.
We then talked about a few other things and I asked him if he had plans this week. Other than his appt. this Friday he said no. I asked if he'd be able to get son two nights this week as I have plans!
H doesn't want me at the appt., he wouldn't tell me what time the appt. was either. In the past he liked it when I did go with him.
Quote: H doesn't want me at the appt., he wouldn't tell me what time the appt. was either. In the past he liked it when I did go with him.
A POSITIVE.
Maybe he's FINALLY coming to terms with the destruction alcohol is reeking on his entire life. Maybe he NEEDS to make this appt. by himself so that he can 'come clean' with the doctor and ask for his help and advice on how to stay sober.... T2
T2...yeah right!! Okay let's just laugh for a second.....okay it's just the kind of mood I'm in today. Don't want to get my hopes up you know...okay on a more serious note...hmmmm..I never thought of it that way. Or H is afraid I might open up to the doctor or maybe H is just plain scared. Can a doctor detect alcohol abuse?
I did tell my doctor about H's drinking problem and H's doctor is at the same office. So I wonder if my doc spilled to H's doc.
Thanks T2 for pointing out that it's not about me. I was making it about me, you know he doesn't want me there, he doesn't like me anymore..poor me..thank you. This is about H.
T2...yeah right!! Okay let's just laugh for a second.....okay it's just the kind of mood I'm in today. Don't want to get my hopes up you know...okay on a more serious note...hmmmm..I never thought of it that way. Or H is afraid I might open up to the doctor or maybe H is just plain scared. Can a doctor detect alcohol abuse?
I did tell my doctor about H's drinking problem and H's doctor is at the same office. So I wonder if my doc spilled to H's doc.
Thanks T2 for pointing out that it's not about me. I was making it about me, you know he doesn't want me there, he doesn't like me anymore..poor me..thank you. This is about H.
yikes, being tired, colder, happier? 
sorry for the graphics, but life could be so much worse.