Quote: You've said your h has always drank, but I get the impression it was more of a social drinker.
Oh and Sting, you are correct, H is more than just a social drinker, it's rarely one or two, it's all or nothing.
H and I have been out together the last two nights and he had maybe three Friday night and two drinks last night. Must be the company.
After the episode last Thursday, I have a whole new outlook on H and his drinking. It's like seeing him that way for the first time..or maybe it's that it doesn't have any affect on me like in the past. I used to make it about me, now it's not. Which is enlighening and freeing at the same time.
I've been thinking back to the other times when H has been that bad and I do remember every single time. H was 37 when I first met him, so maybe he's been MLCing since then I don't know.
One time he had been golfing and drinking all day. Called me drunker than hell, asking what I thought of him now, basically beating himself up overe the phone and he started crying and eventually hung up. To this day I have no idea what that was about.
One time, he came back to where we were living and took a sleeping bag and left, saying something about the Marine's and that I didn't know what he really did while in the Marine's. He wasn't in active service, he was stationed at a nuclear plant in California. He slept in the back of his truck all night somewhere.
Another time, this was when SS was maybe 10 or 11 he treated him like crapp. They were actually on the same age level then, too. SS ended up going home to his mom's. H would have SS stay with him during the summer. I remember it like it was yesterday.
Five years ago May, H came home one night all sauced up, mad as hell that I hadn't planted anything in our garden, I was just pregnant at the time and H said he was sick of this marriage, that he wanted a D if I lost the baby (I had been having problems). So his unhappiness goes back till then at least if not longer.
H has lots of deamons. Lots of past issues, lots of childhood issues and on and on.
I'm holding on, not giving up, not kicking him out. H is not getting off that easy
