Cherry, I'm so sorry. And you've been doing great. H & I discussed OW for a couple of months at my instigation before I dropped the rope on that. He even started complaining to me that she wasn't very nice to him!

One convo like this doesn't mean a huge backslide. It's a case of learning from what has happened, moving forward and not making the same mistakes again and again...

It seems clear that your H is in a hole and is confused. He may not climb out of that hole any time soon. It's hard to climb out, you know....

This is why detaching is so important, because he'll pull you over the edge and into that hole with him if you let him. But you won't let him of course. I know that about you already Cherry.

Push the 'forwards' button now.....you can do this...

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus