i get home from work today and W and S3 are playing in her car. Before getting inside, I look in, W smiles and waves at me kind of excited like, I just give a little smile and do a motion that is a half wave half acknowledging where S3 is.
They come inside, I concentrate on S3 more than anything, with short responses to W. I take S3 down to set him up with his entertainment. I come back up to work on my dinner. W wants starts talking to me about how her mom got on her today. MIL was guilt tripping, and W was looking for someone to take her side. I just validated some of things she was saying with short responses, but ultimately said that it was just the way her mom feels.
I go back down stairs, get out of S3 what he wants for dinner, go back up to get it ready. W asks how my day was, I respond with a simple, "Good, got a good amount done, kept myself busy." Went back to making dinner. Then the interesting part:
W: "What are we doing tomorrow with marriage counselling?" Me: "Do you want to work on and improve our marriage? That is really the only way I feel it is worthwhile. I am not going to go just for closure." She sat and thought. Nods her head. W: "I believe we can be happy together, and it truly is the best thing for S3." Me: "I believe that too, and I agree with you." Long pause. "I believe the best thing to do with this and for us is to leave the past in the past and think positively for the future with goals. It is going to take some time, and we are mostly going to have to work on ourselves, but it is achievable." W: Nods. "One goal I have is moving out of this place. I just cannot do this here anymore" Me: "This house? City? Region?" W: "Yes, somewhere near the ocean, I think you know where." Me: "{Expected city name here}. That is a good goal, and it is something I have been wanting to do too, but we should put a reasonable expectation with respect to time. Are you thinking 6 months, a year? I have to work here, but we should be doing well at work here soon enough to where we can actually do that." W: "Two years." Me: "Good, that is reasonable and that should be a good time frame for my work too."
Some pausing.
W: "I am going to need some space and time to grieve some." Me: "I can understand that." Pausing - make sure food does not burn. "For this to work, it is going to have to be absolutely no contact what-so-ever. This is for both you and I. These things are like addictions, so the extra check is to make sure you do not go back to it and he does not try to contact you." (I did not explain this the first time). W: "Yes, I see that."
Letter written. Sent. Transparency plan in place.
She was very emotional with a lot of this. I asked if she was fully committed, she said yes. Just going to have to sit back and observe for a little while. Make sure without fully jumping on.
