Affair Over but Stuck

[Hurt06]

Update

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and support. The big talk came today and several more lies were uncovered as well as the fact that W spoke to attorney last week. Claiming that it was only a consult and no money was exchanged. I quick phone call confirmed that to be a lie and money was paid and I am on the conflict list.

In-laws, just as predicted were telling me that I have to move out because its easier for me as a single man instead of her with the children which she refuses to leave. Separation seems know unavoidable and R is completely the last thing on the three of there minds as her health issues are all my fault and I am the problem. There solution is for immediate separation whether its the W moving out with the children and me funding her apartment and expenses in hopes that she is able the physically get better and then after some undefined period of time she may or may not want to work on R. Or, I move out. If this is not something I am willing to do then she will be filing for divorce.

In all Honesty I am speechless for them to think that I would agree to any of the "terms" that were put on the table. I simply stated that I respect the W's decision that she needs space and she is free to do what she needs to do for herself. I have sought much counsel from my therapist, our pastors, previous counselors and and marriage coaches, and other Christain men. I explained to them that not one person thinks that me leaving the house is the answer. And it doesn't feel right in my heart. No Christain men can find any Biblical reason that I need to leave the house and send a message to the children that Dad is living somewhere else. The In-laws and W continued to tell me that my presence in the house is hurting the children and driving the W's health further into dangerous territory. I would just like to also point out that the Doctors cannot find anything wrong with my W. We have had countless tests run, endoscopy's, blood work, etc. The tests all comeback neg. There are some hormonal issues but she refuses to stick with any medical advice or medicine to get better. We ended the conversation with I respect everyones views and all I want is whats best for our family.

Later in the afternoon her dad and I were having a beer and the subject came up about the lies that were told during out discussion and that she had admitted the A but none of the pertinent details, Such as the last time I gave her space the man came into my house and she dated him the whole time we were separated when she was supposed to be seeing the MC and IC weekly. He almost fell out of his chair with a deer in the headlights look. He said that changes a lot and wants me to disclose all the details to her mom in front of W to get everything out on the table to be able to see what needs to be done.

I think that part of the conversation was against DB'ing but we just stubbled into it. I am very close to her Dad and we are in alot of ways much closer than my real dad. He considers me one of his own. This has been very hard on the whole family.

I started making calls today and will have a L hopefully by the end of tomorrow.
Its sad to say that I am forced to move into protection mode but as everyone is telling me. "she has checked out"

I'll stick to DB'ing and while continue to hold to my beliefs and the Lord.