If you are looking for some more books to read, you might want to check out the stuff by David Schnarch. His books really awakened me to the dynamics in play in relationships (there is a high and low-desire person on every issue in a relationship...not just sex; the low-desire person controls the outcome (just like we are seeing with our WAS now); it takes an act of integrity for the low-desire person to overcome their issues and move the issue forward). In this way, sex is just a manifestation of a larger dynamic. We all have to work through our issues...
gan - apparently you know me fairly well. I love to read and to learn. I will check these out. Your take on the "lower desire spouse" issue as more of an overall philosophy rather than just about sex, is an idea I have not seen yet. Although I do believe it makes a lot of sense. I believe this idea applies to my overall situation as well. I can recall multiple instances where I brought up items/topics that I wanted to discuss and I received no feedback, no resolution, no discussion of any sort back. The lack of collaboration and lack of our love languages definitely would inspire me to discuss the topic again with more vigor and passion, however, the results were the same.
Thank you for reaching out. I'll check out Mr. Schnarch.
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
