UD, Wonder, T2, Algal,

Thank you for all the support, I might check into Al-Anon. To be very honest it scares me to put myself out there, I know, I know I need to get over it.

My fears are:
That I will run into somebody I know.
That I will have to speak or I will be put on the spot before I'm ready.
I have to feel very comfortable in a group situation before I can contribute anything, it's a problem of mine, ask anybody I work with.... ..

So that said I will consider this and make some calls.

Last night we went out to a sports bar and watched b-ball games, had a few drinks. We stood for most of the game, but eventually found a place to sit so we could eat.

We talked a bit, H asked how my life was..I said good. H asked if I was happy. I said yes I was, I found my inner peace. H said "no you're not" I just ignored him. H said he wasn't happy and what if he needed to move out? I said will that make you happy? And H said no.

H was not in a good mood. We talked about boats. I asked him what kind if he wanted and he said "procraft" and I said what? It's at OW's...I said I thought you didn't like that one and is OW giving it to you? H said she wanted to..H was just blowing smoke and I played along with his little mind game...H didn't get the reaction out of me that he was hoping for so he dropped the subject. That was maybe the only time is smiled all night..when he was make a jab at me.

I did ask H if he remembered the night before and he said no, nothing. So I told him what he said to S about moving out and S wanted to go with him and H said S couldn't.. I wish I would have had a movie camera!! H felt bad I could see it in his eyes, he looked away.

Laurie,

It's sinking in what your saying--it's like algebra--I'm not getting it right now--but I will work it out--and then have the light bulb moment.

H did bring up his wanting to go to OW when really drunk and not when he was sober, asked if I had figured it out---I said it was Satan. H didn't like that comment or maybe didn't know what I was saying or talking about. H didn't go to her the other night..for whatever reason.

H was pretty quiet most of the evening. When we got home I was putting his clothes away, the ones he put in to baskets and H wanted to know what I was putting them away? I didn't say anything and he said it again and then that he was moving out so why was I putting his stuff back into drawers. I said "because it's where they belong" and continued to put things away. H helped a little bit.

H is not telling me anything about plans he has until he has too. H stopped after work for a drink before he came home, last night he was depressed and not a happy person

I am praying all the time for H. Except I don't have a prayer closet or do I, I don't quite understand what it is. What comes to mind is the movie "Carrie" and her closet--not a good memory.

I'm turning to God like I never have before and I'm jus tnow thinking what did people do before there was an Al-Anon?

I'll be back on later, little guy wants to play his computer games..

Cathy