Time to act like nothing he does bothers you and definitely GAL. Think of something you haven't done in a long time and go do it. For me it was dancing last weekend. I was so nervous and headed to the dance club I felt like everything was wrong and I just needed to turn around and go back home and wallow in pity some more. Instead, I met my girlfriend there (probably the main reason I didn't turn around is cause she was meeting me there). She could tell that I was nervous and not relaxing so she bought me a fireball (tastes like a red hot). Helped me to relax and the next thing I know, I'm laughing, dancing, telling jokes, and having a great time. The next day I was in such a great mood that I accepted an invite over to a friends house for an Easter BBQ and that time I wasn't so nervous. I talked, laughed, watched the basketball game (even though I have no clue) and truly enjoyed myself. And the kids, had a blast too at the BBQ. We had an Easter egg hunt and everything was just great. I truly enjoyed myself and it really changed my perspective.
Who wants a mopey down in the dumps kind of person. If you want your man back then you have to start making yourself happy. Happiness comes from doing the things you enjoy and for me that is being social which I had not done in years! Married for over 12 years not once in all those years did I have a girls night out and the last time we went to a BBQ was somewhere back in like 2008 maybe 2009!!!! I'm a social, active, outgoing person but somewhere along the way, I just stopped being ME and instead tried to do everything he wanted and nothing I wanted.
I signed up for this social club this week and I'm currently planning my next outing around when the kids visit him. I can't decide if it will be horseback riding, salsa dancing, mystery dinner theatre, rock climbing, bowling, etc... Just anything but stare at these four walls either at work or at home. I'm not interested in meeting another guy but I am interested in meeting new friends who enjoy doing what I like doing and since I made that decision it has made me happier.
And to top it off I know the husband is noticing. He called me at 4:30 am this morning asked me how I was doing... Yes, he has always been an early morning person but to me that was progress from the man who spent the last two months avoiding me like the plague, filing for divorce, and me relentlessly pursuing to get him to come back. Now just one week after the BD, he calls me at 4:30 AM!!!! And asks how I am doing... Maybe it is progress maybe it isn't. I don't know but I know I'm not going to sit in limbo and see what happens. Maybe he figures it out before the divorce is final and maybe he doesn't. But I'm not going to stop living waiting for him to make that decision.
I waited years for some sort of sign from him that I should do more for him and that failed epically. I should have made the first move a long time ago. BUT in all honest if you are reading DB book and the 7 Steps book then you need to skip to the chapter on ensnaring a WAS... And then start doing it. I am, and I am already feeling much happier in just a week.
So like Nike says... Just do it! Let it go and see if he comes back. If he doesn't then it wasn't you that had a problem it was your spouse for not being able to see the person they married still existed even after all these years.
