Zelda - almost there

[Zelda09]

H has agreed to have a breakfast with me before he picks up his things. I will prepare a letter of intent I will ask him to sign and notarize, and deliver it there. We'll sort out some more logistics. Should be final stuff. He may have figured out our D paperwork and will present it, who knows.

And I plan to ask the questions that keep me up at night.

'Will he be interested in reconciling? HAHAHAHA, no, not that one. I've generally come to realize I love my H, but he is not equipped to build a life with me, as he is right now. If he wants to get himself together and come back looking to build, date...whether pre or post D, I'll handle it then. I no longer have any goals on this front, and I plan to be fabulous and happy again.

I am counting on his honesty (truly. he no longer wants anything from me, so the manipulation shouldn't be a factor.), and want to ask him if he planned to sabotage this at some level. How and why he bounced around extremes when he came back. I'm just interested in what he has to say about his messy head, what he did that night and why he handled it the way he did afterward. What those promises and declarations really meant to him when he came home.

I fully expect he will try to place blame back in my lap, and that's fine. But my bestie, who is very tired of hearing me grind my head into dust, has told me to go, do it, put the nail in the coffin and be satisfied with what I hear and never question it again.

So, my expectations (I know, I know) are that
1. I will be perhaps more puzzled and disappointed with what he says - but it will be out of the horses mouth and not mind reading, so it'll help put some of that to rest for me.

2. We'll have a 99% clean break from each other in all practical senses after we tidy up some affairs that morning, and

3. in a week or month, he will file for our D, and I'll show up and smile and sign stuff when the time comes.

I'll not need to ever question that he still wanted this and I killed our M because of the hard line I drew over the abuse. If he wanted to be here, he would address it. Your move, H.