quick administrative question, i just realized if wife got into my phone to mess with text messages, it is possible that she also could have seen something to do with this site in my phones web browser.
is it possible to change the username, mine is similar other forum accounts and i would think it would be best to make it more neutral or less conspicuous.
thanks for your help!
Go up to my stuff Edit Profile
Fourth or fifth box down says Display name
submit the change and it needs to be approved by an admin.
I changed mine once and then was not allowed to change it back
thanks, i have done just that with all of my devices and accounts this morning. i never had any thought or worry about my business...blind to the truth
Cadet, is it possible to delete all of post 2555305 except for the last full paragraph... It is the only one that matters right now. Deep breath. Thank you for all of your support and help!!!!
started looking for Foo Fighters tickets last night...wow are they expensive.
Wife texted me this AM after we spoke briefly about the show. i told her that i was going to get tickets and she asked if i was 'telling her' that she is going to the concert. I said, not at all, you had made it clear a while ago that you felt that you did not feel it necessary to go to sporting events or concerts with me if you did not want to. i just assumed that you would not go and i will find someone else to go with.
Texts...not a 1/2 hour after i left. Wife: Sorry came off so negative the morning. headache still. i think the concert a good idea. Wife: if it's something you want to do, you should do it.
She is giving me permission for something i was already planning to do. not sure how to respond to that one
i need to figure out what my next step will be. it appears that i am not deep enough into the changes at home as i should be. i still get up with the wife to get her out the door...then i have me time until i get the boys up for school. i still cook all the meals. i still do a majority of the chores (although i have been getting the boys involved much more, it feels like it is not enough shedding of the chores). Wife actually brought in the garbage cans this week (it is not enough but it is something she has never done before). i thought that was nice.
how do i ask that my wife helps more with the daily grind. ever since we've been married this has been a problem so it is nothing new. it was somethint that i used to get very resentful of at the start of all of the marriage struggles. i counted 140 days in a row that when i got home from work, there situation with the kitchen sink / etc. was worse than when i left. no matter how long i left the dishes there...it always got worse. it was something that i got pissed about and held a grudge for super long time. dinner not being made EVER when i got home from a 12 hour day or whatever...nope. Did i ever tell my wife this is how i felt, nope. i just expected that it should have been done that way. [the silent contract crapola is on me...i know this now and have stoppe]. i have also stopped trying to keep score. i just know that for any sort of equal partnership, there needs to be more EQUALITY in what is contributed. do i just wait and see how things work themselves out or is this a boundary that needs to be set (more contribution from spouse, i do not want to be the gay housekeeper or nanny or whaterver).
Besides that, her birthday, mothers day and our anniversary are all comming up this next month...it does not feel right to do nothing for any of them (i was actually going to get tickets to the Celtic Women show coming up in June for anniversary, it was awesome last time we went...and i really want to go). i am just so damned confused. on one hand it feels like i need to keep trying to be a pleasant, strong part of her life, listening, understanding, validating, stints of quality time so that she does not need to find that aspect elsewhere...on the other it feels like that could be pursuing and i need to pull back even more and just leave her to her devices. Can they be done together? Those times together are pleasant for me too. I keep getting hit with a feeling that she may be actually trying, but on the other hand that this is just her leaving bigger crumbs because she has noticed that i'm not biting at the tiny ones anymore or if she is coming back down to earth.
i have been trying to get away and do things more...i don't think i have minutes to spare in my week anymore (3-4 soccer practices a week between both boys, 2-4 soccer games a week, guitar lessons on thursday night (practice almost every night), swimming and gym 3 times a week, kids homework & shuffling them around...oh and trying to actually breath and work and sleep (keeping up on this board is quite a time investment, helps in keeping my mind less crazy).
thanks for letting me vent, needed to dump that out!
So i just reread the whole WW / LBH threads and reapplied those comments to what i am feeling not as they relate to a situation with a WAW which is where i thought i was, but a WW where it is looking more like i could very well be involved with. answered many of the questions above.
Man-oh-man do I have a lot of thinking to do. Stop. Deep Breath. Work on me being a better man: Confidence. Self-Respect. Self-Esteem. Physical Health & Conditioning. Appearance. HAVE SOME FUN.
Thinking all afternoon. So keeping my mind busy at home has been pretty easy because i have so much going on it is easy, at work...not so much. i am busy here at my desk, but i can't focus very well lately (for some reason). i feel like my brain is swirling and fighting itself constantly (think bag of cats type of conflict in my brain).
I need to go write on a blackboard that 'the outcome of my marriage is out of my control.' maybe after 15,000 times it might sink in to where i will stop trying to understand what is going on and what more can i do to help the outcome.
