Life after D - 01 - going from dark to light

[gogofo]

I have had a lingering thought in my head for the last couple of weeks and I do not quite understand it. The thought is this...

After a year or two of seeing what is out there I think/hope that the XW and I can get back together.

Right now I do not like her, at all. I am angry and want nothing to do with her. When I see her it makes my blood boil internally. But there is still a place in my heart for her.

I am not waiting for her, or will I wait for her. I am going to get out and do my own thing. But there is still a feeling that we will get back together. I honestly hope that her and OM go down in flames and she realizes what a real relationship is and what we had was a very very good thing.

I have a question to ask Sandi when she starts up a new WW thread. It about how long it took her to see the flaws in her OM and see that it was not what she imagined it was in her head.

The XW and I need some growing to do, but I also know that she cares about me. My hope is that we could work on us after growing while apart for quite a while. Right now my interaction with her is minimal and when I am around her my attention, vision, and words are focused on the boys. She is just a background character in the story that is my life after D right now.