Try Alanon for yourself. Take what you want and leave the rest is a great phrase for the advice and suggestions you will receive.
I drank because I was lonely and felt unloveable and was hell bent on destroying myself. I did a good job of it. I've probably lost my H and my house and for a while my S. I am entering treatment and have to go to jail. Your H doesn't have to let it get to that point...but he may.
You have got to take care of yourself. Put your foot down and tell him no alcohol in the house and not to come home if he has been drinking. Tell him to get himself a motel room or stay with friends. Tell him you love him and want him to be the sober loveable great H he is capable of being. Tell him how it is affecting your S. And here's a thought. Do you have a videocamera? Tape him when he is drunk. Let him see himself. It may just shake him up enough to realize what a fool he is being.
However, if he isn't ready to stop drinking...he won't stop. If he tries to stop....embrace him. If he falls short of the mark, don't overlook it...but don't dwell on it. Encourage him to try try again. Let him know you are behind him getting sober 100%.
And tell him what a good job he is doing when he is sober...positive reinforcement goes miles and miles for alcoholics. We need to know that we are loved and we need to know that our efforts are appreciated.
It's hard to get sober. Alcohol is everywhere. It's harder still being a drunk. After a while the alcohol doesn't kill the pain anymore and it just makes it worse. The guilt and shame we feel after getting drunk is horrible...so we drink again to kill those feelings. And the cycle goes on and on and on.
I guess I could answer any questions you had, Cathy. I'll do my best to be honest and speak from my experience as an alcoholic.
For me, God has played a huge role in my sobriety. I had to replace alcohol with spirituality. Hugs and prayers, Akgal
