Quote: Please don't judge me, please don't make me wrong for letting H stay. I know my H is a mess, I know a lot of people wouldn't put up with this kind of
Cathy, I grew up with an alcoholic father. He would drink every week and since a very young age. My mother knew of his illness but ignored it anyway when they were married. He was verbally abusive towards my mom for years. My mohter never kicked him out, made him feel guilty, yelled at him, etc....she got her point across in pretty much the same way you are doing...by detaching, by living her own life, by being there for him when he needed her/us, by showing him unconditional love, by protecting us as much as she could from him, etc.
My dad did eventually stop drinking when I was about 10. My mom went on vacation for the week and he went to the neighbors and drank all night. I had never seen him drink this much before. He left us alone all night. We were 10, 9, and 6. We took care of ourselves that night. We made breakfast in the am, cleaned up, etc. He eventually came back and saw all that we were doing. He took me, hugged me and cried. He promised me that he would NEVER do that to us again. He kept his work; he never drank again.
Point is, there's hope Cathy. Yes, you need to protect s4 and yes you need to protect yourself and yes you need to set some boundaries and yes you need to keep praying and standing by him as you are the best thing he has.
Noone will judge you. You are doing what most of us would not be able to handle. You are strong and loving and wonderful.
