I haven't read the books, I am actually struggling with the idea of saving the M.
Thank you everyone for your responses. I really appreciate them.
As a newbie, I need all the help I can get.
UPDATE: We talked the same day I posted.
He explained that he was just doing what I'd asked of him. (HA!?) He was nice, which was a refreshing change to the nastiness he was spewing a few weeks ago.
I took the niceness with a grain of salt however: - the man stopped wearing his ring - added a password to his otherwise unlocked phone - lied about what he was doing on his phone - and asked for a divorce.
It ain't rocket science!
That being said, whatever H is doing, he is on the fence about it.
H tells me he loves me, kisses me albeit - on the forehead - hugs me.
He said he has tried to open his heart to working it out, but would just be staying in the marriage because he feels sorry for me, purely out of pity...and sex.
I've never felt so guilty about having sex with my H - it's pathetic, and sadly, very romantic.
I also think he doesn't want to put in the work to save our marriage, and examine his bad behavior - because he has decided everything is my fault.
I would like to follow him, hire a detective, unlock his phone, (I tried - my hands were sweating, I was shaking like I had parkinson's). I made myself sick, almost threw up.
If he is seeing someone - it's at work - or the gym.
Just before he asked for the divorce, my job prevented me from getting to the gym we used to work out together.
I don't know what I would do if I confirmed he was seeing someone else. I don't know what I would do if he finally filed for divorce.
At this point I've just been trying to remain a faithful partner, and not give in to my need to get back at H for abandoning me.
W/41 H/42 Married: 2yrs 6months Together: 11yrs 11/21/14 - Argument H didn't let go - stopped wearing his wedding band 1/23/15 - Asks for Divorce 0 - kids 2 dogs
