My WW wants me to be friends so we can co parent our kids better. I feel like a chit for not being able to be her friend, but I am not and will never be her friend.
At this stage, I hate her and for what she has done to me and more importantly our kids and their futures.
Every minute she is not with the kids, she is on hotels with her AP across the country. She stuck me with the mortgage, bills, everything while she lives her new life with a creep that is so "less than" her.
hehe - as much as you want really (need i say more), but i get the picture. it is very similar to mine and seemingly many others.
Hate is politically incorrect. its funny how you feel free to say it, until a time like this when it really is warranted, perhaps more than any other, and you are made to feel like you are the one who can't handle the sitch. well screw them. i dont hate you baby, i just hope you die in pain and rot in hell there that felt better. BIG problem though. keep it to yourself. good reason to detach. you dont want give her ammunition.
i am anxious enough as it is that this will turn out like i was warned to prepare for (by divorcee). she'll get the house, the kids, and you get to pay child support. watching her new family. drives me crazy!!!! objectively,if you were advising someone else, if this was business, objectivity would be the biggest strength. it's our only hope now, and i strongly suspect will only be positively reinforcing. as in detachment breeds further detachment.
what is dragging me back kicking and screaming is that i dont want to be detached. i like hating her. i like being angry. i want her to know how much she has hurt me. but you know what - SHE DOESNT CARE (my W). theres a good chance she never will.
She hurt the kids, dont you/us do the same, hey. gotta dash. cheers, P.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
She brought me a little Easter gift, I thought it nice that she was thinking of me. She cried some more, and there were some hugs. We talked briefly about her therapy and the pets, but nothing major. When she gave me a hug goodbye she even gave me a kiss on the cheek. First kiss from her since she left.
Trying not to get my hopes up, but I was smiling the rest of the day.
Me:43, WW:45 2 Kids: 21,22 Married: 23 Years Bomb: 01/2015 Separate Bedrooms: 02/2015 She left: 03/2015
Feeling good today. Woke up in a good mood, and it seems to be sticking.
I haven't been as back and forth lately on whether I want to try and reconcile with WW. Of course that's if she decides she would like to try. I find I'm spending more time on the 'No' side of that line lately. I suspect I will flip back into the yes camp before too long. But for now, I'm ok where I am.
Me:43, WW:45 2 Kids: 21,22 Married: 23 Years Bomb: 01/2015 Separate Bedrooms: 02/2015 She left: 03/2015
Feeling good today. Woke up in a good mood, and it seems to be sticking.
I haven't been as back and forth lately on whether I want to try and reconcile with WW. Of course that's if she decides she would like to try. I find I'm spending more time on the 'No' side of that line lately. I suspect I will flip back into the yes camp before too long. But for now, I'm ok where I am.
Personally I would not worry about which side of the line you are on. When the time comes to make that decision, get your love box down from the shelf, dust it off and then decide, till then you got more important things to worry about! YOU
Thank-you Cadet, as usual I'm worrying about the future and something that might never happen.
Getting back to me, I'm busy planning more GAL activities for the coming weekend, starting to look like another busy one.
I've been avoiding contacting the WW about how her therapy sessions are going. I'm very curious, but I'm finding a lot of patience and waiting for her to reach out if she has something to share.
Me:43, WW:45 2 Kids: 21,22 Married: 23 Years Bomb: 01/2015 Separate Bedrooms: 02/2015 She left: 03/2015
I haven't been very wordy this week. I guess there is not a lot going on in the DB front. I'm continuing to plan GAL activities, read my books, and get plenty of exercise.
Looking forward to seeing the WW this weekend. I'm curious as to how her therapy sessions are going. I never hear from her during the week so her weekly visits are the only chance I have to talk with her, and then I try and keep things brief like is recommended in Sandi's "Rules."
Realizing I'm not as detached as I would like, it's a much longer process than I thought, but I think I'm getting there.
Me:43, WW:45 2 Kids: 21,22 Married: 23 Years Bomb: 01/2015 Separate Bedrooms: 02/2015 She left: 03/2015
I agree with Cadet. It does take a series events and interactions - each of which you learn something from - and the passage of time - and GAL. At this point I find my level of detachment varies depending on what's going on in my life, contact with H and so on.
It's a journey and not a destination in a way....
I think you've doing well anyway Burger. I don't think I've posted much on your sitch, but I do read and I think you seem to be taking a level-headed approach.
Keep up the good work....you've got this :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
there that felt better. BIG problem though. keep it to yourself. good reason to detach. you dont want give her ammunition. 